Funny e-mail

I don't know who originally wrote this, but it was passed along to me & I was given permission to put it here on my blog. 

I got this in an e-mail and couldn't stop laughing so I thought I would share.

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal – The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now…the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: ’Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.’

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those ’cold wax’ kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I’m not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (’Cold wax,’ yeah…right!) I lay the strip across my thigh.

Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn’t the best feeling, but it wasn’t too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace myself….RRRRRRIIIIPPP!!!! I’m blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!…. OH MY GAUD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I’ve only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out…must stay conscious…must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe………… OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy – a wax-covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There’s NO hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip…it’s not! I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake…remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself: ‘Please don’t let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!’ What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I’ll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!

I get in the tub – The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment – I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub…in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn’t melt cold wax.

So, now I’m stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It’s a very good conversation starter ‘So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!’

There is a slight pause. She doesn’t know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, ‘Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?’ She’s laughing out loud by now…I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else’s night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace….the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY STARS!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It’s sooo painful, but I really don’t care.

IT WORKS!

It works! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair…

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE……..ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I’m numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point. Next week I’m going to try hair color…

Things have been a bit hectic around here lately ..... so to catch everyone up.....

........ at the end of October we had a minor house fire. I say minor because we were very lucky. Only one wall caught fire  and everyone was okay. We didn't lose any of our belongings (a small perk, in what could have had very devastating consequences). Our home had been having a lot of electrical problems, so we think it might have been faulty wiring or something that caused the fire.

We started packing up our belongings and moved into our new home on November 1st! We love it here. There is a lot more room here & the layout is okay. I hope to remodel it a bit to adjust it to our needs.

The first two weeks of November were very hectic. My daughter had specialist appts almost every other day. Wednesday, November 17th, was her last appt. She had intestinal biopsy's done on both her small and large intestine. Friday, November 19th, we got a call from her specialist. Not only does my baby girl have Short Bowel Syndrome (she's had it since the day she was born), but the biopsy's reveled she also has Celiac Disease.

We went through our entire kitchen and donated all the food that had gluten (wheat, rye, barley) to family & friends. And bought a bunch of gluten free foods. It has taken a bit of getting used to, but it's becoming second nature.

A month worth of meals, yummy.

 Here's my basic meal plan for the next month. I had some of the ingredients on hand already (like some cream-of-wheat, tortillas, some bread, some meats) so my cost was just for my missing ingredients, All-in-all, my grocery bill for the whole month was $150! That's about $50 less than I normally spend :) 

The majority of the grocery bill was for all the fruit :)

I think it went pretty good :)

I didn't plan for a couple days here & there, because those are the days that my kids aren't home (they go to their bio-dad's those weekends), & my husband and I don't usually do lots of cooking on those weekends.

Breakfasts: cream-of wheat, breakfast burritos, Potatoes & chorizo, French toast, Omelets, cereal

Lunch: PB & banana, grilled cheese, PB&J, homemade pizza, Quesadillas,  CF mac & cheese, sandwiches

Snacks: bananas, apples & caramel, grapes, fruit smoothies, animal crackers, oranges, crackers & cheese

Dinner: 

18th: Bow tie Pasta

19th: Tacos

20th: Enchiladas

21st: Crock-pot cream-of chicken

22nd: Goulash

23rd: Breakfast for dinner

24th:Crock-pot Italian chicken and potatoes

25th: Kafta

26th: Hamburgers

27th: Butter pasta and gravy meat

28th: Crock-pot Swiss chicken

29th: Fajitas

30th: 

31st:

1st: Sweet & sour chicken

2nd: Frito Pie

3rd: Bow tie Pasta

4th: Baked Teriyaki chicken

5th: Sloppy Joes

6th:

7th:

8th: Meatloaf

9th: Burritos

10th” Spaghetti Pie

11th: Fajitas

12th: Chicken enchiladas

13th: Breakfast for dinner

14th: Penne Noodles & kielbasa 

* We normally have 5-8 people to feed because my mom, sister & nephew eat over a lot (we do lots of big family dinners)

That's $0.63/day per person (for 8 people)!

October already?

I seems like summer had just barely started & now here we are in October. The weather is really cooling off. This week I hope to unpack the kiddo's clothing from the storage shed and getting the summer clothing ready for storage. I also hope to price replacement pieces for the dryer today after my husband gets home from work =)


Everyone has had a horrible cold lately so there isn't much to deep cleaning today, just a bit of tidying up today (the kiddos have been slowing down too so it's just daily messes like dishes & stuff), but it seems like if I stop and rest then I'll be playing catch up for a week! 


Thankfully, I prepared a weeks worth of meals over this past weekend while my babies were visiting their dad. So it is just thaw/defrost/ reheat the meals this week, so that should ease the stress in the kitchen too =)

Took a bit of a break, but I'm back :)

I had a very difficult & busy month.

First dd got sick & spent a week in the hospital (that alone was stressful in itself), then to make matters worse, it rained/stormed so hard the day she was released that we had a major power outage. It took 7 days for the electric company to get things going again. 

Thankfully all is better now :)

One plus is I'm hoping our electric bill is shorter due to the lack of use (1 week in the hospital & 1 week w/o power).

Another advantage is I found just how far I can go when having to make due without.

We had no lights, so I bought mini solar lights ($7 at Wal-mart) and a few flashlights - and the solar lights were BRIGHT, lol.

I had to buy a few battery operated fans (it was hot & humid that week here in Texas), so no A/C.... but the battery operated fans worked well with the open doors & windows (we live in the country & our nearest neighbor is about 1 mile away). We had one screen door that had to be mended (b/c of the dogs, lol). 

I have lots of mirrors of varying shapes & sizes, so I "redecorated" a bit, lol. After rearranging my mirrors, I was able to use one flashlight to light the kitchen, livingroom & part of the master bedroom :)   I loved science as a kid & used light refraction (I think that's the right term) to help illuminate my home.

We used our outdoor grill everyday :)    We had to give away most of our fridge & freezer contents (mostly meats). But we heated water for coffee, oatmeal, etc on the grill, cooked veggies on there, just about everything. We used mesquite wood that grows wild here, so there was no charcoal cost or anything.

The *best* experience (IMO) was learning when to quit. Normally the housework (cleaning, cooking, lesson plans for my kids, etc) starts when I wake up & throughout the day (with breaks of course) till bedtime. With the power outage, I learned when the sun goes down, it doesn't matter if I haven't detailed the kitchen. I can push spot cleaning the crayon smudges till the next day. Come sunset it's time to relax like DH, lol.

Although I haven't kept ALL the habits, I have kept some (the solar lights, more fan use instead of the A/C,  more grill use - just not for everything, and when to call it quits for the day).

Meal Plan September week 1 :)

A little late... it was a super long weekend ... but here's my meal plan for this week

Monday
Breakfast: Cereal
Snack Broccoli
Lunch PB&J
Snack Fruit smoothies
Dinner Bow-tie pastas
Tuesday
Breakfast: Oatmeal
Snack : Animal crackers
Lunch: Mac & cheese (w/ meat & veggies)
Snack: carrots
Dinner: Frito Pie
Wednesday
Breakfast: cereal
Snack : Fruit smoothie
Lunch: PB&J
Snack: Apples & caramel
Dinner Bow-tie Pasta
Thursday
Breakfast: Breakfast burritos
Snack : Goldfish
Lunch: Mac & cheese (w/meat & veggies)
Snack: Fruit smoothie
Dinner: Crock pot Cream-o-chicken
Friday
Breakfast: Cereal
Snack ; Apples & caramel
Lunch: Grilled cheese
Snack: Fruit smoothie
Dinner: Goulash 




I have all the goodies already in my pantry & freezer! YAY! Total cost for meal plan this week: $0


So what now?
Well, I did go to the grocery store & decided to restock my deep freezer. Although I have enough for my meal plan, I like to keep it well stocked. Plus, knowing I was going for the sole purpose of restocking the deep freezer (& knowing I had everything for this week) it helped curb the impulse to "splurge" or buy junk food.


So this week I spent a bit more than usual. But I bought enough to restock the basics for the month (at least on the meats, which is my biggest budget hurter). I looked for the best sales (esp. the buy 1 [meat item] get 8-9 sides free! at HEB (a local store here in Texas)).


Beef Fajitas (2)
Tyson Fun nuggets (2)
Eye of round steak (2)
BNLS Loin chops (7 pieces/pk  - 2 packs)
Chicken Drums
Salmon (2)
Chicken Breast-Cilantro (2)
Chicken Breast- Teriyaki (2)
Chicken Breast- Lemon (2)
5lb ground beef (2)
BNLS SKNLS Chicken Breast 4lb bags (2)


Re-stocking the deep freezer full of meats for 1 month: approx $100

September!

Well today was the first day of September. It was a wonderful day. The weather is cooling off (still hot here in Texas, but cooling off).


Yesterday I started a big project. I'm cleaning out my storage area behind my home. I got through about 1/2 of it. I spent all day yesterday & all day today sorting, purging, reorganizing & cleaning. A lot of the things in storage were donated to the Salvation Army. It was wonderful. Some of the stuff was brand new, but was put into storage when I first moved here but never had the room to put them. The rest is mainly furniture that I no longer have room for, so that'll be a quick purge (hopefully this weekend)


This year I hope to get an early start on preparing for winter. Last year, we had roughly a week of snow (a couple of days here, a few days there). 


I look around and see what seems like an never-ending list of to-do's. For me it helps to have everything written down (printed from the computer), put into a sheet protector & cross off things as I go (it gives a feeling of accomplishment).


This month (before the weather REALLY starts to cool down) I hope to:

• Touch up the children's bedrooms (I just painted them, but they got messy's & crayon on them already, lol)
• Give my home one more good purge (Winter = Christmas= more clutter)
• Check window seals (last thing I want is to find a leak & be fixing it during a storm)
• Wash windows real good before the rainy weather hits
• Finish bathroom remodeling (ok, more my husband's job, lol)
• Have car checked (I like to get everything checked before the summer & before winter hits)
• Pack up summer clothes & unpack winter clothes. Hem any gently used clothes. Recycle "heavily loved" clothes (dish rags, etc)
• Clean the fridge - a good deep scrub down
• Clean the deep freezer. - I have a stand up deep freezer. But same basic principle. Clean, toss old/frost bitten foods, defrost freezer, re-fill & organize. I also got long (1 wide & a couple skinny) bins. I keep meats in one, frozen fruits in another & frozen veggies in yet another. I also keep extra loaves of breads at the very bottom because the grocery store is a good 30 miles away & that's a good drive for just a loaf of bread, lol
• Pantry - (I just got done with this one earlier (: yay ) - I have a large pantry so I go a bit over board on my pantry organization.  I have a lower level (w/ 2 shelves) & an upper level (also w/ two shelves).The bottom lower level has cereal, pancake mixes, rice, (grains basically). The top lower level shelf has canned veggies on the left & canned fruits on the right (Fruits & veggies level).The bottom upper level has beans, canned tuna, peanut butter (proteins/meats on the right) & evaporate milk/ pediasures/ shelf stable almond milk ("Dairy Group"). The top upper level (furthest from everyones reach too, lol) has cake mixes, frostings, chips, etc ("sweets" group") on the left .... and (not on the food pyrimd) the right side has drinks (juices, teas, etc).

Canned my first batch of strawberry jam & Salsa!

I had had a wonderful trip to our local Farmers Market this past weekend! I bought such a wonderful bunch of fresh locally grown produce! Well yesterday we made strawberry jam & salsa from it & canned it! I was so happy & wanted to share :)

There are many recipes out there. I used this recipe (a bit modified from others out there, due to dietary needs of my family)

• 4 pints strawberries (5 cups crushed)
• 1/2 tsp. margarine
• 1 package pectin (1-3/4 oz.)
• 1 1/2 cups sugar

Preparation -
Wash the strawberries and remove the hulls. Chop and crush the berries in a food processor or by hand. In a large pot, measure 5 cups of crushed strawberries. Stir in the margarine and pectin. Bring to a full rolling boil over high heat, stirring constantly. Stir the sugar into the strawberry mixture. Bring to a full, rolling boil again. Boil 1 minute, stirring constantly. Remove from heat; skim off the foam. Ladle the jam into clean jars to 1/4" from the top. Wipe the rims. Cover the jars with the caps, then screw on the bands. Place the jars in a canner with just enough water to cover jars. Process in a hot water bath for 10 minutes. Makes 4-1/2 pints

The jam turned out wonderful.

Now for the salsa :)  My wonderful husband was wonderful enough to prepare this for me :)

Although my husband is a good cook, I wasn't standing over his shoulder while he was preparing the salsa, so I don't know the exact measurements of everything :(

Roughly he used (sorry the measurements aren't there & I might be missing some of his ingredients):

• 2 baskets super hot peppers, long chilies red & green (they were sooo much hotter at the Farmers Market than at the store)
• An onion/garlic hybrid (farmers market)
• lemon juice
• Cumin

(This is where I picked it up)

Preparation -
Combine all the ingredients in a stockpot. Mix well and bring to a boil. Cook on a low boil, stirring occasionally, for about 30 minutes. Ladle the hot salsa mixture into pint size canning jars (about 16 pints), leaving 1/2" headspace. Wipe the rims. Place caps on the jars and adjust the lids. Process in a boiling water bath canner for 20 minutes. Remove from the canner to cool. Label and store in a cool, dark space. Refrigerate after opening.

I went shopping Last night....

... for groceries. I got a little off track on my blogging lately. My husband & my Mom have been remodeling the bathroom this past week :) (kinda a b-day gift, i just turn 25 on the 19th).

Anywho, I went to buy groceries last night & wanted to share my meal plan. I only did Mon-Fri for two weeks (instead of 1 week), reason being, things come up & sometimes we grab a bite to eat in town (& that way I can move a meal to the weekend without having any waste).

Ok, here it goes :
 Week 1:


Monday
Breakfast: Cereal
Snack Grapes
Lunch PB&J
Snack Strawberries
Dinner Chicken?
Tuesday
Breakfast: Oatmeal
Snack : Oranges
Lunch: Sandwich
Snack: watermelon
Dinner: Goulash
Wednesday
Breakfast: cereal
Snack : Grapes
Lunch: Light nigh dinner left-overs
Snack: Oranges
Dinner Pasta
Thursday
Breakfast: Breakfast burritos
Snack : Watermelon
Lunch: Mac & cheese
Snack: pudding
Dinner: BBQ
Friday
Breakfast: Cereal
Snack ; Grapes
Lunch: Grilled cheese
Snack: Goldfish crackers
Dinner: chicken?


Week 2:
Monday
Breakfast: Cereal
Snack : Grapes
Lunch Grilled Cheese
Snack: oranges
Dinner: Tacos
Tuesday
Breakfast: Oatmeal
Snack : Oranges
Lunch: Sandwich
Snack: Apples & caramel
Dinner: Burritos
Wednesday
Breakfast: Potatoes & chorizo
Snack :  Animal crackers
Lunch: PB&J
Snack: Strawberries
Dinner: Butter pasta & Gravy meat
Thursday
Breakfast: French Toast
Snack : Goldfish crackers
Lunch: Mac & cheese
Snack: Cantaloupe
Dinner: Crock pot Swiss Chicken
Friday
Breakfast: Cereal 
Snack: Grapes
Lunch: last night dinner left-overs
Snack: Circle cheese
Dinner: Chicken enchiladas






Yup, two weeks worth of groceries/meals...now for the part that most people dread... What was the cost at the register? Please keep in mind, my household has a minimum of 5 people (Me, my husband & our 3 children) BUT can be up to 8 PEOPLE (my mom, my [youngest] sister, and my nephew) also have dinner with us often.

......drum roll....

.....$54.57!

I was so happy :) That's about $27.29 per week!

How was I able to get all those meals for so cheap?
I took an inventory of what was already in my pantry & freezer, made my meal plan from that, then found the ingredients I needed.

Here is a glance at what my grocery list looked like last night:


GROCERY LIST

Have
Chicken
Ground beef
Hamburger patties
Butter
Eggs
Chorizo
Pudding
Caramel
Potatoes
Cereal
Oatmeal
Peanut Butter & Jelly (mixed)
Tortillas (corn & flour)
Enchilada sauce
Taco seasoning
Vanilla
Cinnamon
Cheese (sliced, block & shredded - American, Cheddar, Swiss)
Bread
Pasta





Need
Apples
Cantaloupe
Grapes
Oranges
Strawberries
Watermelon
Mac & Cheese
Goldfish crackers
Taco shells
Sandwich meat
Animal crackers
Cream-of-Chicken
Chicken broth
“Circle cheese”

Busy Busy Week :)

I haven't added anything  the past couple of days because I have been a little busy around the house. I finally got around to making my own home-made laundry soap, dryer sheets & cloth napkins :)

Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap- Front or top load machine- best value

4  Cups - hot tap water
1  Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup - Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda*
½ Cup Borax

- Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.

-Fill a 5 gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.

-Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)

-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.

-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.

-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)

-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

*Arm & Hammer "Super Washing Soda" - in some stores or may be purchased online here (at Meijer.com). Baking Soda will not work, nor will Arm & Hammer Detergent - It must be sodium carbonate!!

Powdered Laundry Detergent - Top load machine

1   Fels-Naptha soap bar
1  Cup - Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda*
½  Cup Borax

-Grate soap or break into pieces and process in a food processor until powdered. Mix all ingredients. For light load, use 1 Tablespoon. For heavy or heavily soiled load, use 2 Tablespoons. Yields: 3 Cups detergent. (Approx. 40 loads)

*Arm & Hammer "Super Washing Soda" - in some stores or may be purchased online here (at Meijer.com). Baking Soda will not work, nor will Arm & Hammer Detergent - It must be sodium carbonate!!

TIPS FOR LAUNDRY SOAP: We use Fels-Naptha  bar soap in the homemade soap recipes, but you can use Ivory, Sunlight, Kirk's Hardwater Castile or Zote bars. Don't use heavily perfumed soaps. We buy Fels-Naptha by the case from our local grocer or online. Washing Soda and Borax can often be found on the laundry or cleaning aisle. Recipe cost approx. $2 per batch.

Inexpensive Fabric Softener Recipes

Recipe #1
1  Cup White Vinegar
Add vinegar to rinse cycle. Works great. Removes residue and odors. Also helps to keep washing machine and hoses fresh and clean too.

Recipe #2

1  Container of Name Brand Fabric Softener
4  Inexpensive sponges, cut in half

Pour entire container of softener into a 5 gallon bucket. Fill empty softener container with water twice. (2 parts water to 1 part softener) Add sponges to softener/water mixture. When ready to use wring out extra mixture from one sponge and add to the dryer as you would a dryer sheet. 

I  found these wonderful & very useful recipes at http://www.duggarfamily.com/recipes.html.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My cloth napkins were made from a spare piece of cloth I had laying around.

Generally, you would want to look for a fabric that has good absorbency (luckily the cloth I had laying around does). Next measure the desired size. A good tip is to get all the measurements BEFORE cutting ;)

Try to pick measurements that will minimize waste. My fabric was only 10 inches wide\, so I made 10X10 squares, but if it had been 11 inches wide I would've made 11X11 squares to minimize waste. Likewise, if I had fabric 18 inches wide, i would've made 9X9 squares (2 rows). 

Next sew the edges to prevent fraying.

Use. And wash :)

This is a great opportunity to express your creativity. These cloth napkins are meant to be longer lasting than the disposable paper towels. If you were willing to spend an extra $1-2 for the cute print paper towels that would be thrown away, why not invest an extra $1-2 per yard for cloth napkins that you plan on keeping for awhile? Buy the bold prints, daring colors, or any other color/style that is pleasing to YOU :)

Marriage

I saw this & wanted to share ... idk who originally wrote it, but a friend shared it with me & I wanted to share w/ everyone here reading my blogs. It's a real sad story, so grab a tissue.

Quote:
 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.